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Obama Celebrates Last Time He Has to Talk to These Bastards

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Looking ahead to his final State of the Union address, Barack Obama told NBC’s Matt Lauer that he was “celebrating, just celebrating the last time I ever have to talk to these bastards.”

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The Authentically Pleasurable Nonsense of Predicting Oscar Nominations

Predicting the Oscar nominations (which will be announced this Thursday) may be nonsense, but it’s authentically pleasurable nonsense precisely because of the peculiar impersonality of the awards, in contrast to my own—and to each viewer’s—wishes and preferences. The performances and creations that I think “deserve” an Oscar or a nomination …read more

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First Draft: Bernie Sanders Has Edge in Iowa and Widens New Hampshire Lead, Polls Find

Senator Bernie Sanders is breaking away from Hillary Clinton in New Hampshire and has erased her lead in Iowa, according to new polls that show him solidifying the support of Democrats ahead the first two 2016 presidential voting contests.

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Via: First Draft: Bernie Sanders Has Edge in Iowa and Widens New Hampshire Lead, Polls Find